After the Death of our Daughter

Ken Thurlow

Ken Thurlow

Most of Lucy’s letters are positive, relating the good things in life. In this letter, Lucy lets the hard times show through the happy veneer. Every sentence she writes is the seed of another story. Lucy did share some of the stories with us while she was living in Rochester, but somehow we never found the time to listen to them or try to remember them. It’s only now that she’s gone I realize that there is something more important than deciding what to have for dinner tonight, or that there is too much dust on the furniture. We should have been listening to Grandma Lucy tell the stories about how she drove downtown to get her driver’s license.

This letter relates a lot of sadness, hard work, and the potential for great joy. I hope everyone who reads it has a chance to share their own stories and take the time to listen to other people’s stories. That’s so much more important than getting that dust off the furniture.

Lucy writes:

After the death of our daughter Ken was still not able to work. He would sit in his chair with a flat iron with a belt thru the handle – and would lift it up many times a day. It was hard for him to be so inactive but for me – guess I really needed him to be with me. I hadn’t slept for such a long time and I felt so depressed. Ken had built a room on the side of our house for my mom. She had decided to retire and it was his suggestion. He was always helping people. Audrey lived with us weekends and summers for seven years. He helped Loly and Paul build a house which they lived in while her 3 children were born.

He would take used tires out to Gardner for Stan to sell. Rubber was scarce because of the war. Always doing kind things. When spring came he went back to work and things began to look better. I stayed so house bound he decided to buy a car for me. Of course he would fill it with gas, check oil, tires, etc and I truly enjoyed that. The only time I drove down town for the first year was to get a drivers license. There never was a kinder more considerate happier or friendlier man than Ken. People really loved him. I thought I could never get along without him. Life in the little house was back to normal. Birdell + I having coffee daily + trips to Gardner.

Lucy Letter 031